Love is always patient and kind
It is never jealous
Love is never boastful or conceited
It is never rude or selfish
It does not take offense and is not resentful
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins
but delights in the truth
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope,
and to endure whatever comes.
i have been liking these passage since a long long time ago. That's also when i fall in love with Nicholas Sparks i guess. and i reread A Walk To Remember again and will always be reading it again. and yes. Jamie Sullivan is the bestest character ever exist. and i kind of envy her.
Love comes in many forms. There could be love for God, the family, friends, animals, things and also definitely that special one. gee. speaking of this. yeah. that's totally my point of this particular post.
At the age of near 19, i have never been in love. i mean like indulging in a serious relationship with some special one, that special one that make you feel special, make you feel loved and make you feel not lonely even though there are a bunch of friends and family members around. yes. it's magical. i know that it totally gives a different feeling. you can fly anytime, without wings. you can go crazy thinking about that particular one. you heart is out of tunes, skipping a few beats. you forget how to breathe yet still survive with the presence of him. Of course, in my high school and college, i used to have a couple of crushes on random people. thinking of how everything works out, i feel like an idiot. i do not even understand or remember in the first place why do i fall for that particular one. eh. when i redo the calculation, i do really really feel stupid. why oh why do i spend time on these people? what have they done to me? i feel like wasting my time waiting for unanswered destiny.
yes. now. i am almost 19. i want to be in love. i want to be loved. why do i have this intense feeling now? first, looking around seeing peers indulging in relationships make it seems like it is totally a normal thing to give a go in a relationship. it seems interesting. yeah. i already know it is. it's more than having a crush. if your crush is having a thing for you too and i think that would be way too awesome. gee. i sound desperate i know. but i am going to finish my story. i think it's so gong to be a long post because i am bored and i have a lot to say. then, when i get back a couple of days ago, Grandmother was saying the love-relation thingy. duh. she was like totally not supporting me to be in any relationships because she's worried that i might abandon my studies and influence my education and so on so forth. my Aunt, on the other hand was saying the opposite things. opposing my grandmother. saying that she believes i can handle all these things well and totally support it if the time really comes. my Mother, on the other hand, just smirking. not giving any comments or anything. i come into a conclusion myself. if the time really comes, i will give it a try. the problem is.....i haven't found anyone (and if there's really someone will it be a mutual feeling a)nd i feel like a need to be in love. i dont want to grow old lonely. i am afraid that i have no time to indulgence in love when i am starting my hectic life as a doctor. so, i have come to my tertiary education now. is it time yet?
Love is patient and kind. Yes. it is. Patient as in testing our endurance, our faith. if it is true love, then i am willing to wait. just be patient. God mush have everything laid back for me and i believe in him.
It is never jealous. Yes. if i am liking and starting to develop a love for this particular someone, i should never feel jealous for whatever things that he'd done for evoking that jealousy in me. i should love him whole-heartedly. if it's true love. there should not be any jealousy. love is for sharing. it's like the love for God and Family and Friends. there's no such thing as you are the only one needing the attention and affection. everyone deserves to be loved and cared. but. yes. it is hard. even in the crushing-state.
Love is never boastful and conceited. when we love, or loved, there should be humility in ourselves too. because, who knows that someday, God take it away. we should love everything and God's creations equally and genuinely.
It is never rude or selfish. yes. loving equally and with sensible and rationality.
It does not take offense and is not resentful. this is so hard. jealousy and greediness are so hard to swallow at times. i am really trying to develop a nobility, sincerity, loving, forgiving and strong heart in enduring whatever comes. i should be reminding myself of how lucky i am and contented with my life for all the bad and good.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin but delights in the truth. gee. this is a little difficult for me to do self-interpretation. i supposed that we see sin as a way to improve the quality of life, no? we should treat sin as a lesson, taking no pleasure when people have done wrong and in awkward humiliating situations. i am really making Jamie as my role model. if only i see things as she did.
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Yes. that's what true, genuine, divine love is all about. two people, bonded and should be resilient in enduring their life together. forgiveness, trustworthy and strength are important in maintaining a relationship and make it grows fonder. love transcend impossibility, i suppose.
i really feel like a need to be loved. not that i am not now but i need someone special. shoulders to cry and lean on when i am down. supports that never cease. communications that never bored me to death and happiness in any form that make me feel like i am someone special, alive. i need someone to make me laugh out loud every day. i dont want a mundane monotonous lifestyle. i need someone to grow old with. i need a hand to hold on to when i am lost. i need everything that it takes to make life meaningful. we could do all crazy things together and i already have some of the things plan out. looking at my parents, i somehow wish that when i am old like them, there still going to be that sparks alive between me and that special one (lets cross fingers that i could really find one because i want only the best and one and only). maybe i couldn't see it with naked eyes. but my parents are one loving couple. oh. why do i feel like reading The Notebook again. Noah Calhoun is one nearly prefect boy and he will make you the world.
yes. you can say i am desperate. i ado admit it. because i am afraid of the time left. i dont want to die alone without knowing that someone special is loving me as much as i am loving him with all i could. i think i am ready enough to love because i love myself, God, family and all. i just missed something.
Quote from Ed Westwick : When i am in love, i am pretty much completely smitten.
p/s i have the courage to write this out partly due to two best friends of mine
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