it has always been my dream since high school that i want to get into a medical school, get a degree and become a good, qualified doctor. honestly speaking, it really has to do with House. that's when i find that medicine is just so interesting and intriguing and that i am so going to do it for the rest of my life. of course, i do understand and aware that a doctor's life is never glamorous and sophisticated as what is portrayed from the drama like House and Grey's Anatomy. after all, those are just soap operas.
as a first year medical student now, sometimes, when i went for lectures and all, i could hardly believe that i am seriously there, enduring my life as a medical student. this is not a dream but a reality that i am living in it. i could not alter how i want the plot to develop but i know that for every little thing that i do it will somehow going to affect the future outcomes. i am contented and satisfied of my choice that medicine is the only thing that i am interested in practicing. i could hardly imaging myself in other profession. truth, there could have been thousands more career that could have bring more income than what a doctor earns even greater than a renowned surgeon or specialist. nonetheless, i believe that by becoming a doctor, i would find ultimate satisfaction and lasting joy in it as this undying passion is going to motivate me and grow with me as i move along in my life. i am seriously enjoying what i have been learning for the passed few weeks. it is all so medicine (in theory) and i am really looking forward for my clinical practices. there are so much more to learn and absorb yet i don't like to study things for the sake of exam. it could be stressful but i am trying to diverge it into a fun learning process in which the bottom line is not about getting highest marks.
in addition, i would love to instill a love of helping those who are suffered from agony and pain and turning it to become my ultimate reason why i want to be a doctor. i want to help. no. i am still having a hard time uttering those in front of others because it would be so fake and that i lack the sincerity and genuineness in it. but, i think that i am so going to discover more of the fun in helping others, especially spiritually. sometimes, i dream of changing the world into a better place as in putting an effort to care about others, control my anger, be nice even though i could somehow disapprove of others and be good even though i am ill-treated and by doing that through my daily basis, it is good enough than not even trying but whining around.
this is what i chose and i am not regretting anything and i love it because it is so much of fun.
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