yesterday was awesome. went outing with Huiwoon and Michael tagged along. My course mates were accompanying me there too and i really have to thank them for their sacrified time and energy.
i could sense that i am a changed man. i used to be so quiet and pessimistic towards life and i choose to change for the better. i love talking and crapping because i find myself really happy doing that. i am not sure whether people can accept the way i am now but i dont really want to give a damn about it because i have faith in what i believe is good.
nonetheless, there are times in which the laughters lie a hidden truth of my agony. maybe, i choose to laugh out loud about things and crapping around because i am really despair and dejected inside. there are much predicaments that i find it hard to voice out sometimes so i choose to resort to keeping to myself but at the same time faking a smile. laughters are real.
it's true that people's perception and expectation towards life altered through the course of time. so do i. at this stage of life, i choose to live a totally carefree life. it's like so not me because i used to put so much time and hard work towards study but now what i do is playing around and bound to be indifference towards my study.
besides that, there are more to invade my exhausted mind on my future. which kind of person i choose to be in the future? what kind of regret i dont want to reminiscence in the later day? which kind of joy and excitement i dont want to miss as i am still young?
yes. it is so hard living with so many of people around who are way better than us in term of so many different ways but i guess that's what differentiate us and there is need not a need to be envious of them because everyone is special. i have heard enough of stories and i had observed enough and to come into one slid conclusion that i am really contented with my life. i have to be because God must have his own path for me and i trust Him. i dont want to live a simple life anymore and i want a totally awesome life n which i could look back in the next 10 years and laugh out loud about it with a genuine smile ever.
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