in my shoes

it was the very first time that we were criticized for not paying attention in the class. we as in those who were chit-chatting, gossiping or sleeping during the lectures. and the we here also applied specially to those who sat far behind the hall, on the top where we either tried to get a better view of the display screen (as it would be so damn tired staring at the screen tilting the head so frequently that i so want to cry of pain though i could just refrain from doing so but it was an involuntary reaction) or just to get out from the sight of the lecturers or for those who did intend to just present but not paying attention. i like to categorized myself as the former one.

though, sleepiness is so inevitable. i had been missing listening to the lectures twice, means two hours of indifference. i did feel remorse but i did try my best to stay awake like doctors telling patients who almost turn to unconsciousness for particular complications. it is just so hard to deal with the tempting whisper of the evil yet concern mind to go for temporary shut-down mode.

my lecture/doctor was like calling those sitting at the back to pay attention and we got comments like we should not be cocky assuming as if we know everything and that we are good enough. gee. a big lump that i find it hard to swallow. i was awake for some moments but later on involuntarily shut my eyes off again. i was really tired and it was so bored. it was a little unfair because there are much more people i guess who were sleeping or not paying attention and that those we got criticized were from those at the second half left side of the hall. gee. not pointing out specifically anyone but everyone were like eyeing us which were made up of 40 +- people. besides, i don't really think that i could really get to digest everything in just an hour of lecture some more with the absence of the note. so, it's either choosing to listen and pretend to understand everything and trying to answer questions and asked too or just being indifference by keeping silence. i could take some extra note and information but then we were not given photocopied notes so i guess that i was not in the mood to listen anymore. i rather prefer to do self study and later on do some findings from books or internet.

it was the second time that i went outing with friends. omg. KL is such a good place to shop especially at Sungei Wang Plaza and Times Square in which cheap clothes are available abundantly. in addition, it has some what become a routine to go out once a week for decent meal that served Chinese food.

i hope that i get adequate sleep and won't fall asleep again during lecturers and try to take note on additional informations though i do admit that such an input doesn't really work best for me and that i prefer self study. i am beyond exhaustion.