Resurrecting the Insanity

i have been gaining weight. Great. There's a compelling need that i feel like to stuff everything that's edible, more likely food that i like, particularly those that i've been craving for living away from my hometown. i crawl to bed at the wee hour and wake up in the afternoon and feel sick over it because i want to sleep more but hit by a pang of guilt when i look at the clock so i end up dragging myself from the bed and lie in front of the tv watching all of the broadcasting programmes available. Eat. Bath. Go for a walk, DRIVE!, see how the world spins, feel the joy of my carefree life, laugh as if there's no tomorrow. Life's been so darn great!
Everything seems so surreal. My mid-sem holiday almost comes to an end and a horrible new start will begin soon. Well, it's not actually new but it's to continue what's been brought to a halt, the crazy college life in matriculation. And, i'm not sure how to begin, i'm not sure whether i have the strength to continue, i have to left all these goodness behind and continue. Move on. Feel so sick at the sight of the mountain-high books. i was doing some reading earlier and discovered that those knowledge which are not taught or include in the syllabus are far more interesting than those we need to study over. It's something that couldn't be learnt from the chalkboard (in my case, from the stupid immense display screen).
i woke up feeling extremely tired today. i felt really sick. There's something sticking on my throat and it's killing me. i'm just jaded. And the fact that all this good things is ceasing worsen the situation. Maybe, i don't really enjoy my break to its fullest because i'd been doing so much of thinking during the break. The tests, the study, the people, the expectation, the future, the PAST, the present, the life. Everything is too much and it struck me at the same time, the very same minute and eventually i burst to tears.
What to do now? i'm so lost, again. Have to move on, have to bring my horrendous-and-temporary-idle life to alive again. How to resurrect the dead? the insanity?