it's the mid year and half of my year just gone like that. i couldn't remember well, just know that i had been working my asses off to get good marks and pointer only to be let down before anyone else and it feels like i am not recognized by people and how should i feel eh? upset, depressed...yeah close. okay. it's just not my fate and luck and ability to be on par with the best i guess. honestly speaking, i think i deserve at least something. we'll see. i think, i still feel some surges of sadness out of sudden occasionally. i was having diarrhea since morning like around 7 till the last time close to 9pm. what a day.
how many post has it been about my obnoxious plight? it's really time to move on and forget about the whole damn thing. it is not as if it is the only thing that matter in the whole wide world. okay. i am sad. okay. that's enough. i know that all of those previous posts were really an escape to run away from reality of how upset i am about the whole thing. i am just finding numerous irrational excuses to admit that i am just not as great as others. or maybe it is just karma. maybe my future is not with it. see, i am still making excuses. enough. after this, i am not making anymore comment.
maybe it serves as a good story line that my life is never as smooth as i always want it to be. maybe when i am successful and all one day, i will remember that i have been on a tough path and this...this whole thing is making me a stronger and better person. exactly. i believe that i have better option. time will tell.
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