taking it easy

#i watched the match between Argentina (Lionel Messi!) and Mexico last night this morning. it was half time and i figured that i probably should take a nap since my eyelids were stubbornly about to close for a few times during the last 45 minutes. Pup woke me up just in time for the starting of second half. Kudos to Argentina for making through halfway for final. England had been sent home since the shameful lost to Germany. served them well because i don't think they really fight hard on its last match. boo-hoo. boosting around for their so-called competence, professional star-players. i think that they managed to get into second rounds by mere luck. they have so much more to keep up with other teams. fell like sticking out my tongue to them. i am not a football fanatic or anything. i just watched for the sake of entertainment and to fill up my spare time since i am so damn free. i am not really obsessed with WC.

#Mum rang me in the morning. i don't know what's the time. it's like having a lucid dream. i deliberately not picking it up. it was on the desk of around 5 meters away. i ain't going to carry my jaded body and exhausted mind there. i just ignored it. later, there was a call again. i opened my heavy eyelids and peeked through the windows of my eyes and it was 0900 or something. it was again my freaked-out Mum, telling me to go to the bank to settle the payment and apply for the newly arrived ATM cards which ran out a few days ago. i currently have 3 different ATM bank cards. p.s the purple color is more worthy if anyone is to steal it. i just mumbled through the phone in my semi-consciousness. sorry Mum. i really need the sleep. it was so darn good. then, i think it was 1030 or something, i finally reluctantly dragging myself to go to the town. Aunt rang me, telling that she's about to arrived with Momma to pick up things. Momma said that she could sent me to the bank. oh great. what a perfect timing. i don't have to walk under the hot scorching sun.

#i was at the bank. waiting. patiently. there were like 60 people ahead of me. Pup suddenly rang me, telling that he could fetch me home. oh great. what a perfect timing, again. i settled up everything and informed my anxious Mummy and Momma that i'm fine and i'm going home with Pup.

#there was a Mak Cik selling Malay Muffin aka baulu. she was so old, looking haggard. she was asking me to buy from her. i carved a smile and gestured a no. i saw her left. damn. after giving a second thought, i should have just buy it. what was i thinking. looking at her carrying her basket, asking the passerby to buy but was turned down made my heart sank. i should just buy it to fill my empty stomach. i was actually sipping my canned white coffee which costed RM2.40. The baulu could have only cost RM2. what was i thinking. i couldn't forgive myself today. it taught me that i should really give the help whenever i can afford to to so. it was just a packet of baulu. i can truly made a difference in her life, starting from today. i guess that it was probably still a novelty to me, being offered snacks at the five-foot way and my common sense just rapidly refused to give a serious thought of how i could changed an old lady's day.

#i started to pack for my entrance into university. brother already went home yesterday after his almost ended 3 months break, settled down in his newly rented home. i hope that my existence in his future would not burden him too much. i already feel sick at the thought of it. i have so much more things to prepare and i am only halfway through.

#watched Dear John last night. it was so damn good!

#fall in love with Katy Perry again. i think that Nani, a contestant from Mentor, a talent searching comes performer reality contest, featured on TV3, looks quite alike Katy. even they sound almost the same. i don't know what's the correct adjective to describe it. it was like soothingly harshy and feminine to hear. she only needs to be more meticulous in picking up the right songs that could enhance her performance and accentuate her unique voice. she should really win it. she totally nailed it when singing 'Heroes' from Mariah Carey last week. i love Katy!

i am taking everything easily today. i feel as if my life has changed towards awesomeness as in i have luck with me everywhere and i need not to worry about the consequences. it is different.

Hwaiting

Malaysia is undoubtedly one of the country which is hit by the ferocious Korean wave, with the emerging of Super Junior, TVXQ, Wondergirls, SNSD and also many Korean dramas with handsome hunks and pretty girls in it. luckily, i wasn't one of the frantic victims who seek more from the specific inducers named above. it could be scary when i analyzed the issue from a different angle as an immune surviving survivors. beauty is only skin deep. hmm. some how, they just failed to impress me to leave such a severe sickness on me. they did not really nail it at singing but excellent at dancing yet i am not really savoring them like an ardent believer. let just say that i have a stronger and well maintain immune system. i am just thinking that the nation would be in grave danger if those fanatic fans tend to live up the life of their idols and take in just everything from them as in political, religious and social views. i mean it was like the Book of Eli. the villain tends to build up the faith of the people on him by manipulating them with the magnificent the holy book. nah. it is not really that serious. those boy bands and girl bands and dramas don't really have that intention to conquer the world, gaining utmost power over everyone and the universe or something. they are doing what they are doing just for sheer entertainment and as a career. duh. i am exaggerating. i am just trying to imply of how huge their influence is nowadays. back in those days and now, i am not really quite that fanatic over Avril Lavigne. i just adore her music and i see her as a very beautiful singer with talent and stuffs. and i just could not help but to fall for her, irrevocably.

okay. i am really trying to blog about Korea. South Korea to be exact. i just watched the match between Uruguay and South Korea. it was the first match of second round and i would love to send my couraging congratulation to all those players for they have fought really well to made it there but to lose by a difference of one goal. still, bravo and kudos to our Asian representative. my heart was beating anxiously and my frantic eyes were gluing right on the television screen for the full 90 minutes. okay. did tune in other channels for numerous time but it was all for releasing the tense. in the eighth minute, Suarez from Uruguay managed to scored the very first goal. it was rather a ridicule goal because the Korean defenders were really sleeping over there. what the hell with 6 or 7 or more people at the defense line on but they ended up missing him from the left. sorry about the direction i don't really know. so he came fast like a bullet there after seeing how the goal keeper missed at catching the ball and "GOAL!" it went. duh. my version of goal is "Awww". i don't know why. not that it hurt or anything. i said it again when Korean was scoring the much awaited goal during the second half after so much of attempt in invading Uruguay's well organized defense. it was brilliant. i love that Lee guy and also the 10th boy who had attempted a few of awesome banana free kicks. The Koreans had fought really hard during the second half though there were times where i could really put the saying that "my grandmother could kick better than he is" into good use after seeing so much of disappointing shots. i was waiting patiently for yet another goal to secure a win. nonetheless, i bet that they too were really stressed out in defending because it would be doomed when those Uruguaian managed to secure another goal. and yeah. that's when i think all Koreans' heart and dream shattered into thousands pices and left agape at Sanchez's second goal in a match. it was brilliant this time. it hit the solid pole and the stubborn pole miraculously didn't spit the "bag of wind" out instead it swallowed it in. i guess that the pole was daydreaming or perhaps it was such a shocking attack that the pole was resting so peacefully as the Korean players had been dominizing the play on the other side of field before the Uruguaian came in their territory fiercely and so the pole was too a little clumsy after being left idle so long. and that's when i uttered the third "Awww". i always have the urge to shout a GOAL!!!! in unison with the crowd at the stadium. the sportscaster even acknowledged Sanchez as one of the possible best European player.

i guess that at the end of the wisel, we could only breath a sigh of disappointment like the devastating players and move on. SuJu and the fans are inevitably would be left agape at the results too. and i think that Korea had the chance to win based on their outstanding performance just now. it is one of the most frustrating match to see how a great team had been putting so much efforts yet to be disappointed at the end of the day. on the side notes, Korean lacks hot players. no offense but they just don't have the looks like the other warriors who look so confident and energetic yet i salute them for their fighting spirit. XD

anticipated for the macth between USA and Ghana. the White House take five nighty from meeting and discussions when there is a broadcast of the match of their respective boys on the field.

A Thanksgiving

We were having a Chinese kind of Thanksgiving. Yesterday we were having a feast which was still my favourite Korean BBQ style and received quite a number of red pockets. of course i do love money but it just doesn't feel right. i didn't do anything that worth it. they are too kind and generous to do so. now, i feel like going for shopping tomorrow. Today, Grandma made yellow glutinous rice with coconut filling and chicken curry to make an offering to the God/Goddess/Buddha, Bhikku and ancestors. again, i was overwhelmed by listening to Grandma's prayer. my heart sank and i swallowed the uncomfortable lump. i knew that Grandma would not be able to send me next week due to Aunt incoming unpredictable labour. i can't wait for the baby because she is going to be Tim Meng's sister which undoubtably wll be as smart and cute and he is. she even has a name, already.

And everyone, especially Pup, Mummy and i were beyond exhausted today. After coming back from Grandma, we had to visit the temple and deliver the glutinous rice to my paternal Uncle and Aunt. Pup was feeling unwell since morning and Mummy was tired from yesterday's chores. i was jaded with things too. i helped with the food and massaging Grandma and Aunt. they said that i am pretty good at it. oh and yesterday, i was being to witness with my very own eyes of how muscle twitching looks like. it was of my Grandma's calf. i think she might be deficient of iodine and calcium. after we were back from visiting Aunt and Uncle, i fall into a deep slumber. i had a 4 hours nap in the late afternoon and feel pretty energetic after that, which is now, not forget to mention after chugging a cup of ice milk coffee.

it was really a disheartening sight to watch my Father sick. it is going to be a painful experience because everything isn't right. some more, my Father has been so strong and sturdy all this while and being ill means that he is severely vulnerable. all the blame is on the stout yesterday. i am sure that he would not ever tempt to even wet his mouth with a tiny drop of stout next time which has wrecked up his immune system in just one night. i pray that he gets well real soon.

Goal

i have the urge to scream "GOAL!!!!!" whenever the footballer scored one. anyway, i just watched the match between Algeria and USA and frankly, i wasn't really supportive of any teams but do hope that Algeria win but the opposite happened. i kind of reckon that USA is beyond average though who am i to judge but during the match with England, i do think that USA has the potential to win the match and later finished with a draw due to Green's unbelievable mistake. no comment on that though. although England is among the favourite and acknowledge as a great team with so many star players but do bear in mind that they have been playing for different clubs all around Europe, EPL and stuffs. so, basically, that also implies that they don't have much collaboration with each other so they don't really have the perfectly well blend chemistry to play a good and beautiful game. it is really frustrating watching anyone, who is so close to scoring a goal and later failed it. it did happen just now on Dempsey. He was like what? 12m or less and i was already mouthing a "Goal" but it turns "Shit". no. i remembered sighing "alamak". it was so exasperating. he had a good chance there and out of sudden, it hit the pole. it was supposed to be a straight good kick because the keeper was already down and why did he go for a bent there and with so much of force? that was all where i see that Algeria is losing, if not going for a draw. did feel sorry for Algeria but it was sure a well-played game.

went for a gathering with friends in the afternoon. so many people there and talk so little. typical. it is not as if i am the most popular kid at the school or the miss congeniality. figure. i was already thinking of not going in the afternoon but i guess that i waited long enough that it would be a waste to kind of walk back home or ring Pup to see wether he is near to coming home and give me a lift. and i met with a nice Pak Cik today. i feel like he is the kind of people i really really want and need to help. i know that there are so many more of his kind that deserve and need help from those fortunate people. and i just know that i can't bear to not offering gracious helps whenever i can and should. though i have forgotten how you look like but i believe that God will send someone to you, on my behalf or maybe myself that i am able to assist you on my own in the future in return of your kindness. i know that i am not racist or anything generally but on specific note. i just despise those with bad attitudes that i find it intolerable. i mean, being the majority and having the leverage over others, they should have work harder to prove that they do deserve what is granted not merely because it was written as a history.

and i detest those vain, lazy, conceited and shallow kind of people.

So at last

it was Huidi's birthday and we have a small party for her. we were having BBQ and enjoyed it so much ever since we went to Ban Suan at Wakaf Bharu which is a Korean BBQ Restaurant. i love Tim Meng so much because he is so clever and cute. it's so much fun talking to him. if you are telling him "Tim Ming naughty boy.", he will answer "Tim Ming clever boy." and if you insist on telling him that he's naughty, he will get furious and start shouting and hitting as he likes. Asking "How are you?". there will be a cute reply of "Fine, thank tiu(you)". it's so much fun having him around though he is a little active and he likes taking pictures with his signature peace sign. V^^V Happy Birthday again Di! i don't know what to write about you but i love you!

i start to feel anxious and fear of what the future would bring. suddenly, i am granted what i have always wanted and it is still surreal to me and i feel so close to His presence because my prayers have been answered. and i am scared. i suddenly feel like i don't want it anymore but i know that i would be whining of my plight if things are to fail me again but this time, everything is coming so fast and sudden and i need to catch a breath. Mummy said that koko is responsible of taking care of me. Gasp. we don't even talk. i don't know whether it's me or what but i find it hard to communicate with him. i sometimes don't get what he's saying. it was slurred at times and subtle and there are misunderstanding and i am a little bit scared of him because he could get irked in split second. i am so dead this time. i could really take care of everything by myself this time.

today is father's day. i rang Daddy and Pup in the morning and wish them through phone but later when pup is back, i am going to say the same thing again. i did deliberately sounds anxious acting as if something bad has happened when i get to connect to Pup and later acknowledge it as a prank. tee-hee. it is for the sake of fun. bro bought a cake just now and i guess that there's going to be a simple celebration. last night, i watched a Malay movie and did actually have tears stubbornly jostling in my eyes. and there was a large heavy uncomfortable lump in my throat that it hurts. i feel really thankful, grateful, sympathized, helpless and inspired. the list goes on. it was so jumbled up. i don't know what was it. i really want to thank my fathers for their love and their presence. they have done so many for me that child could have asked for and i have only done so little for them as what a father could have ever deserved. there are so many things to ponder upon like poverty, old-age and love. there are so many unfortunate people and what could i do to help them for at least a day. what have they done wrong to receive such a punishment or plight. i do believe in karma though because that's the only things that i make myself believe that life does make sense. i do admit that i could be stingy sometimes but it's the problem that i have to serve for my family first and i don't think that what i possess now is adequately for everyone because all i get is from them too. i need to earn with my own sweats and blood and only then i could really think helping with no boundaries.

again, Happy Father's Day!

it's a bless

i am serious when i claim that i don't know what to feel. a tinge of sadness and a little bit of joy but most of all, i am grateful. i am upset because my holiday is coming to an end soon and there is only about 1 week left and i have to approve my application and stuffs and i have to pack and get ready for my next journey. where does my 2 months flee? it feels as if i haven't sleep enough, rest enough, play enough, enjoy enough. of course, there are many reasons to be happy. i get admitted into National University of Malaysia. (NUS sounds better though). it was among the two university that is recognized by Singapore Medical Council. Another was the covetous University of Malaya. honestly speaking, if i managed to complete my medicine course, i would really love to do my housemanship there and work there. i have my future plan ahead. if possible, i would do my master somewhere abroad, when i earn enough. next, i am excited about Mummy is soon to quit her tuition classes. Mum acknowledged my success application as winning the lottery. Yay! now my Mum can rest more on weekends.

it is such a flummoxed feeling. i am looking forward to attending the classes yet at the same time, i don't favour the thought that i have to wake up early for classes. i am so going to work hard and be persevered in surviving and enduring medical school. i shall not give up. those trials and tribulations have made me stronger. though, i have so many things to imporve. i need a better social skill. i guess that i should not be scared of meeting and communicating with people. i do realise that a broad and well established network of friends is indeed crucial for the benefit of future well being.

so many to blog about. it's my sister's birthday!

Surrealism

Whee. Just trying out a trick.

i don't know what to say, what to feel. Yes. i am Happy. i wish to erase all the previous sadness over my plight but if all of those are a need to get to here and now, let's go through it again. i know that i am a stronger and better person now. when things fail me, somehow i grow.

Waka Waka

time flies. when you did not put an effort to notice it. it just slips unaware. and it just struck me that i only have around a fortnight left (if only i succeed in securing a seat in uni) before i left home again and no more my idle come lifeless life. what have i done to my two months break? it just feels like yesterday that i scratch the final answer on my test paper.

one of the best thing about my break is that i get to watch World Cup. more anticipated for the final though. i am really not a football freak or whatever they are known as, i just enjoy the whole "festive season", the ambience, the excitement, the matches, hot players and stuffs. i don't know. i just want to be a part of the crowd that enjoy a good football match. first, decide which team to support for one particular match. next, gluing the eyes in front of the screen, take note of how the players strategy out their play in striking a winning goal. then, for the next 90 minutes, enjoy the whole roller-coasters ride as how the team upset you on not scoring a goal when they can and they should have and bring you joy when they did scored one. later, you will yearn for more goal because the opposition is catching up and do beware as they might surpass your favourite team. lastly, i only feel a tad of satisfactory when my favourite team wins or draws. losing sucks. then, i went to sleep and wait for the next match with a promising team playing on the field. Villa with Spain, Kaka with Brasil, Lampard with England, Ronaldo with Portugal, Messi with Argentina. Eh, those with South Koreans, Japaneses also do worth my time because apparently i am bored with browsing internet.

i did notice that i haven't been blogging for quite some time. it has nothing to do about me claiming that i need time to recover from my dismal over the season finale of GG. sometime, i don't have the mood. sometime, i don't know what to blog about. sometime, i feel like i just don't care anymore. yes. i did really think that i don't care anymore. i love my life now which i sleep through the day, whining about my mundane monotonous life but still not coming up with things to enhance it, no study, no future, no working but just being a total slob and idle. i'm lovin it.

diehard fan

i am shocked when i saw Perez posted about the very handsome Chace Crawford was busted for possessing drug. Eh. this is indeed a reality not a plot in GG which i found it more astonishing and devastating. Why does most of the very popular, rich and good-looking stars have to get themselves into troubles?

the last episode of season 3 was really exceptionally staggering up till a point which i find it a little annoying and inexcusable for me (for the part where J lost her virginity to C!!!) and the whole relationships of everyone else also went upside down, a very big thank you to Little J there. well, maybe the director or the script writer or screen writer are logical and right when giving comments on their incredible twist of story line at the finale. after all, it is just a soap opera.

Q: Why choose to go in such a drastic direction with the finale?

Stephanie Savage: We designed it to allow people's perceptions to shift. People who had been pretty comfortable all year thinking that Jenny Humphrey was a villain might find some sympathy for her in this episode. And people who've been comfortable thinking that Chuck was a lovable bastard may feel he crossed the line in this episode. We wanted to blur the edges.

Josh Schwartz: That's Gossip Girl for you. We were launched on the "OMFG" ad campaign; we gotta live up to that.

Stephanie Savage: We wanted the finale to drive us into next season. Sometimes it takes a little while to get our momentum up, and we wanted to do something heart-charging.

i am still recovering from my exasperation over the incidents. but i am still looking forward to the fourth season which is also going to be the last one. i feel as if a part of my life is going to end too. shoot me.

late night with chck

okay. i admit it. i am stupid. when was the last time i watch GG? and i know that Season 3 finale was like a couple of weeks ago and i stopped at episode 17 or something in which i get all upset about Chuck splitting with Blair. say i am forgetful, lazy, scared or whatever it is. i am stupid.

currently waiting downloading the finale and it's already 2 in the morning.

enjoy watching videos on facebook just now which are all about the recent Teachers' Day celebration and did make me laugh out loud as i am watching the WOW show or something, whatever. i do miss ChungHwa. oh great. no i didn't. i just miss the fun there in which students come up with exciting and hilarious shows, gossips and all. i think if i am given a chance to turn the clock, i would become a different person then. i just need more element of fun and laughters in my high school chapter.

still waiting.

Blair has become the most exciting character to watch. all her dramas have become so saturated that i no longer find her the most annoying character around but the reason i watch GG. throughout Season 1, she could really be an eyesore to everyone but seriously, after second and third season, i think most come to like her because she's Blair. she has grown and she never changed and she's consistent and she fits Chuck so perfectly. On the other hand, my dear Chuck, hmm. Chuck's hair is totally way better in the first season but he's still the hottest among all, surpassing Nate for no particular reason but for being Chuck Bass. and his eyes. OMG. scream. i could stare at those dreamy, sexy, longing eyes for hours and if those pairs of gliterring eyes are staring at me, convincing me at jumping of the cliff, going for bunjee jumping or something out of the mind, i would do it. they are so tempting. Ed Westwick's best asset is his eyes. no doubt. and all his other features just complement with each other so perfectly well.

House was even mentioned on the show. i haven't read any review or anything, but i believe that Chuck and Blair are so going to make up to each other in the finale. whee. 12 minutes or more to go. so going to be hypnotized again and i don't care.



i am so excited about exploring Mac today. i never ever tempt to do any "research" on it before and there are like a hell of keyboard shortcuts (like this one ) and awesome softwares and i am still learning how to manage everything.

i think that i never ever want to switch to normal PC anymore and if possible to own a McBook Pro someday, an iPhone and an iPod. ♬ ✿ ❀ ♨ ✄ these are all cute!!!

hmm. Mummy did insist on enquiring about admission into AIMST. i probably ring them tomorrow, with a not-interested-mood inquiring the operators. ☂ ☃♔ ✎ ☹ last time, i remembered that i was quite exuberant and eager to get admitted at AIMST but now, i don't know why that i felt so much of guilt and hatred and angst. i am disappointed that i wasn't given a chance and Mum said she is the one and only who is going to give me the chance when others don't see the potential in it, you know those stupid morons. hmm. i rather Mum spend money on investment or something but not on education in which i believe that i am one of the qualified citizen to get those kind of recogni tion and green light to be given an opportunity to pursue a cheaper, affordable education.

so, i probably just let Mum does what she wants for me but i think i am going to say no. i rather seek after something better and less risky. Mum said that i could get everything back within 2 years or so to work in neighbouring country. You're the man Mum! now, i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i feel like going all around the world now, having a tour at a foreign place, absorbing experience and see how i eventually grow out of it. see how the world spins and stuffs. 

runaway

Whoa. What's the day? How long has it been?

it's the mid year and half of my year just gone like that. i couldn't remember well, just know that i had been working my asses off to get good marks and pointer only to be let down before anyone else and it feels like i am not recognized by people and how should i feel eh? upset, depressed...yeah close. okay. it's just not my fate and luck and ability to be on par with the best i guess. honestly speaking, i think i deserve at least something. we'll see. i think, i still feel some surges of sadness out of sudden occasionally. i was having diarrhea since morning like around 7 till the last time close to 9pm. what a day.

how many post has it been about my obnoxious plight? it's really time to move on and forget about the whole damn thing. it is not as if it is the only thing that matter in the whole wide world. okay. i am sad. okay. that's enough. i know that all of those previous posts were really an escape to run away from reality of how upset i am about the whole thing. i am just finding numerous irrational excuses to admit that i am just not as great as others. or maybe it is just karma. maybe my future is not with it. see, i am still making excuses. enough. after this, i am not making anymore comment.

maybe it serves as a good story line that my life is never as smooth as i always want it to be. maybe when i am successful and all one day, i will remember that i have been on a tough path and this...this whole thing is making me a stronger and better person. exactly. i believe that i have better option. time will tell.