Chow kit road

A couple of days ago, my friends and I were walking thru chow kit road on our way heading to have lunch at a famous Panmee restaurant nearby. I saw a lot of unfortunate people lying, sitting and squatting on the walkway, the beggars, begging for money. Not that I want to brag about myself but a piece of me want to reach out to my wallet and give away the few ringgit that I've saved. Nonetheless, the upbringing and the culture as well as the early life of mine doesn't include such noble, generous acts. Of course it was in the Morale textbook teaching us so and so but did anyone really adhere and abide to all those teachings? Odd. It was mixed with a feeling of shyness because I don't want people to think like oh wow...that's so kind of you? Giving you that skeptical stares as if doing good is a sin. Well, you get what I mean. Once, I was having lunch with friends at a food stall after school and giving away rm1 wihtout much hesitation to an old woman nearby who carries a mug in her hand, coming over to our table and asking for donation. my friends reaction were really pissing me off. I guess that's one of the reason why I never want to have any close attachment to anyone here. They even questioned me on why I did I do so. WTF?! You guys don't even remember where you placed your wallet and looked deeply into your noodles as if there's hidden gold inside the deep bottom of it and after she left, start questioning my action? Great. Wouldn't mind spending on branded items, whatsoever dresses and heels but not even a penny to an old woman. Do you even think she want to beg for life if she isn't desperate enough?

However, I kind regret for not giving away while I can on that chow kit road. What was I even worried and shy about?

Last time, when Mum was in town, we went to visit a Chinese Temple near Petaling Street. My hairs started to stand the moment we stepped our foot inside. And when I saw my mum fervently doing all the ritual of offering and praying, my heart sank. I felt like somehow I feel connected to Buddha, probably because all those miserable things that have fallen upon me recently. Seeing my mum, just kennel down and start bowing, I know that she was a genuine and honest person inside. The most truest and amazing person I have ever known and love beyond imagination. On our way home, what touched my heart more was that we bumped into this uncle who worked as a sweeper in the temple but unfortunately he had difficulty in walking probably due to arthritis. Again, seeing him made my heart ached. Why are there sufferings in this world? So mum asked my sister to hand him a 10 ringgit note. It wasn't much but mum said he doesnt have to worry about his meals, at least for one day. God. Tears were welling up in my eyes already and I had to swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

One lesson I learnt is that since I am born in a well Moderate family, I should be grateful and I will help those who are n need if I am capable of doing so. I wish that I can turn like really really wealthy one day so that I can do more.

While I heard people complaining about their parents not giving enough or nt loving enough, I would normally just keep quiet. In fact, I keep quiet all the time. I am thankful and grateful to my parents for everything that they've done for me and given, whether it's just purely materialistic fulfillment or their undying love n care for me. I couldnt ask for better parents. :) e only thing I am worried about is not able to live up to their expectation and not able to love them back and do more than what they've sacrificedforme.