Imminent Death

Michael Jackson dies.

i was astonished to be acknowledged that MJ dies due to heart complication or sort. Abrupt. The radio kept on playing his all time greatest hits and i was drifted back to the good old time where i used to travel with my father listening to MJ and sing along.

Weinie's grandfather had passed away too. i felt sick. i didn't know how to confront her or anything for i'm not a people person. Although she's sitting just inches from me, i couldn't even summon the courage to offer my condolences. i knew that she's devastated, she's sad, she's not okay, she's sick too but i couldn't even take my obligation as a friend to confront her and be with her so that she's not alone in struggling through all the obstacles. i am totally helpless. i would really love to act as if i don't give a damn and it's not my problems and all but i face the torturing of facing her and wreck intensely inside like hell. i ain't oblivious but i just don't know how to start a conversation for fear that it would stimulate her tear reservoir again and i would be dead by then.

i made a couple of phone calls to the people i love and care for today just to make sure that everyone's okay. i was aching, trying to find words to phrase my sentences. i felt my heart sank over and over again and my eyes wet. i knew that my eyes had swollen for not having a good night sleep for a couple of days already and now, the hot and furious tears just made my eyes ached more.

i miss home. i want to go home. i want to go home to the place where i belong. i want to escape from the harsh reality and sleep the hell out of the day. i want to sink into the unconscious world and dream of all the celestial dreams.

What the hell is the meaning of life again?

May all the good fortunes fall to those who had returned to be with God because i believe that God love him/her more. Thus, we should cherish the great moment we still share with the alive-loved-ones because no matter how much tears and grief there are, death's irreversible but the memories are indelible. So let just him live in our heart and our memories ...