it's a bless

i am serious when i claim that i don't know what to feel. a tinge of sadness and a little bit of joy but most of all, i am grateful. i am upset because my holiday is coming to an end soon and there is only about 1 week left and i have to approve my application and stuffs and i have to pack and get ready for my next journey. where does my 2 months flee? it feels as if i haven't sleep enough, rest enough, play enough, enjoy enough. of course, there are many reasons to be happy. i get admitted into National University of Malaysia. (NUS sounds better though). it was among the two university that is recognized by Singapore Medical Council. Another was the covetous University of Malaya. honestly speaking, if i managed to complete my medicine course, i would really love to do my housemanship there and work there. i have my future plan ahead. if possible, i would do my master somewhere abroad, when i earn enough. next, i am excited about Mummy is soon to quit her tuition classes. Mum acknowledged my success application as winning the lottery. Yay! now my Mum can rest more on weekends.

it is such a flummoxed feeling. i am looking forward to attending the classes yet at the same time, i don't favour the thought that i have to wake up early for classes. i am so going to work hard and be persevered in surviving and enduring medical school. i shall not give up. those trials and tribulations have made me stronger. though, i have so many things to imporve. i need a better social skill. i guess that i should not be scared of meeting and communicating with people. i do realise that a broad and well established network of friends is indeed crucial for the benefit of future well being.

so many to blog about. it's my sister's birthday!

Surrealism

Whee. Just trying out a trick.

i don't know what to say, what to feel. Yes. i am Happy. i wish to erase all the previous sadness over my plight but if all of those are a need to get to here and now, let's go through it again. i know that i am a stronger and better person now. when things fail me, somehow i grow.

Waka Waka

time flies. when you did not put an effort to notice it. it just slips unaware. and it just struck me that i only have around a fortnight left (if only i succeed in securing a seat in uni) before i left home again and no more my idle come lifeless life. what have i done to my two months break? it just feels like yesterday that i scratch the final answer on my test paper.

one of the best thing about my break is that i get to watch World Cup. more anticipated for the final though. i am really not a football freak or whatever they are known as, i just enjoy the whole "festive season", the ambience, the excitement, the matches, hot players and stuffs. i don't know. i just want to be a part of the crowd that enjoy a good football match. first, decide which team to support for one particular match. next, gluing the eyes in front of the screen, take note of how the players strategy out their play in striking a winning goal. then, for the next 90 minutes, enjoy the whole roller-coasters ride as how the team upset you on not scoring a goal when they can and they should have and bring you joy when they did scored one. later, you will yearn for more goal because the opposition is catching up and do beware as they might surpass your favourite team. lastly, i only feel a tad of satisfactory when my favourite team wins or draws. losing sucks. then, i went to sleep and wait for the next match with a promising team playing on the field. Villa with Spain, Kaka with Brasil, Lampard with England, Ronaldo with Portugal, Messi with Argentina. Eh, those with South Koreans, Japaneses also do worth my time because apparently i am bored with browsing internet.

i did notice that i haven't been blogging for quite some time. it has nothing to do about me claiming that i need time to recover from my dismal over the season finale of GG. sometime, i don't have the mood. sometime, i don't know what to blog about. sometime, i feel like i just don't care anymore. yes. i did really think that i don't care anymore. i love my life now which i sleep through the day, whining about my mundane monotonous life but still not coming up with things to enhance it, no study, no future, no working but just being a total slob and idle. i'm lovin it.

diehard fan

i am shocked when i saw Perez posted about the very handsome Chace Crawford was busted for possessing drug. Eh. this is indeed a reality not a plot in GG which i found it more astonishing and devastating. Why does most of the very popular, rich and good-looking stars have to get themselves into troubles?

the last episode of season 3 was really exceptionally staggering up till a point which i find it a little annoying and inexcusable for me (for the part where J lost her virginity to C!!!) and the whole relationships of everyone else also went upside down, a very big thank you to Little J there. well, maybe the director or the script writer or screen writer are logical and right when giving comments on their incredible twist of story line at the finale. after all, it is just a soap opera.

Q: Why choose to go in such a drastic direction with the finale?

Stephanie Savage: We designed it to allow people's perceptions to shift. People who had been pretty comfortable all year thinking that Jenny Humphrey was a villain might find some sympathy for her in this episode. And people who've been comfortable thinking that Chuck was a lovable bastard may feel he crossed the line in this episode. We wanted to blur the edges.

Josh Schwartz: That's Gossip Girl for you. We were launched on the "OMFG" ad campaign; we gotta live up to that.

Stephanie Savage: We wanted the finale to drive us into next season. Sometimes it takes a little while to get our momentum up, and we wanted to do something heart-charging.

i am still recovering from my exasperation over the incidents. but i am still looking forward to the fourth season which is also going to be the last one. i feel as if a part of my life is going to end too. shoot me.

late night with chck

okay. i admit it. i am stupid. when was the last time i watch GG? and i know that Season 3 finale was like a couple of weeks ago and i stopped at episode 17 or something in which i get all upset about Chuck splitting with Blair. say i am forgetful, lazy, scared or whatever it is. i am stupid.

currently waiting downloading the finale and it's already 2 in the morning.

enjoy watching videos on facebook just now which are all about the recent Teachers' Day celebration and did make me laugh out loud as i am watching the WOW show or something, whatever. i do miss ChungHwa. oh great. no i didn't. i just miss the fun there in which students come up with exciting and hilarious shows, gossips and all. i think if i am given a chance to turn the clock, i would become a different person then. i just need more element of fun and laughters in my high school chapter.

still waiting.

Blair has become the most exciting character to watch. all her dramas have become so saturated that i no longer find her the most annoying character around but the reason i watch GG. throughout Season 1, she could really be an eyesore to everyone but seriously, after second and third season, i think most come to like her because she's Blair. she has grown and she never changed and she's consistent and she fits Chuck so perfectly. On the other hand, my dear Chuck, hmm. Chuck's hair is totally way better in the first season but he's still the hottest among all, surpassing Nate for no particular reason but for being Chuck Bass. and his eyes. OMG. scream. i could stare at those dreamy, sexy, longing eyes for hours and if those pairs of gliterring eyes are staring at me, convincing me at jumping of the cliff, going for bunjee jumping or something out of the mind, i would do it. they are so tempting. Ed Westwick's best asset is his eyes. no doubt. and all his other features just complement with each other so perfectly well.

House was even mentioned on the show. i haven't read any review or anything, but i believe that Chuck and Blair are so going to make up to each other in the finale. whee. 12 minutes or more to go. so going to be hypnotized again and i don't care.



i am so excited about exploring Mac today. i never ever tempt to do any "research" on it before and there are like a hell of keyboard shortcuts (like this one ) and awesome softwares and i am still learning how to manage everything.

i think that i never ever want to switch to normal PC anymore and if possible to own a McBook Pro someday, an iPhone and an iPod. ♬ ✿ ❀ ♨ ✄ these are all cute!!!

hmm. Mummy did insist on enquiring about admission into AIMST. i probably ring them tomorrow, with a not-interested-mood inquiring the operators. ☂ ☃♔ ✎ ☹ last time, i remembered that i was quite exuberant and eager to get admitted at AIMST but now, i don't know why that i felt so much of guilt and hatred and angst. i am disappointed that i wasn't given a chance and Mum said she is the one and only who is going to give me the chance when others don't see the potential in it, you know those stupid morons. hmm. i rather Mum spend money on investment or something but not on education in which i believe that i am one of the qualified citizen to get those kind of recogni tion and green light to be given an opportunity to pursue a cheaper, affordable education.

so, i probably just let Mum does what she wants for me but i think i am going to say no. i rather seek after something better and less risky. Mum said that i could get everything back within 2 years or so to work in neighbouring country. You're the man Mum! now, i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i feel like going all around the world now, having a tour at a foreign place, absorbing experience and see how i eventually grow out of it. see how the world spins and stuffs. 

runaway

Whoa. What's the day? How long has it been?

it's the mid year and half of my year just gone like that. i couldn't remember well, just know that i had been working my asses off to get good marks and pointer only to be let down before anyone else and it feels like i am not recognized by people and how should i feel eh? upset, depressed...yeah close. okay. it's just not my fate and luck and ability to be on par with the best i guess. honestly speaking, i think i deserve at least something. we'll see. i think, i still feel some surges of sadness out of sudden occasionally. i was having diarrhea since morning like around 7 till the last time close to 9pm. what a day.

how many post has it been about my obnoxious plight? it's really time to move on and forget about the whole damn thing. it is not as if it is the only thing that matter in the whole wide world. okay. i am sad. okay. that's enough. i know that all of those previous posts were really an escape to run away from reality of how upset i am about the whole thing. i am just finding numerous irrational excuses to admit that i am just not as great as others. or maybe it is just karma. maybe my future is not with it. see, i am still making excuses. enough. after this, i am not making anymore comment.

maybe it serves as a good story line that my life is never as smooth as i always want it to be. maybe when i am successful and all one day, i will remember that i have been on a tough path and this...this whole thing is making me a stronger and better person. exactly. i believe that i have better option. time will tell.