blood ties

 i just get back from drawing blood for screening for Hepatitis B. this is the first time ever, a needle is pricked into my left median cubital vein (the common one underneath antecubital fossa, the part joining ur upper arm. and blood is sucked up into that tiny little syringe. well. not the first probably but as i am aware of since postnatal period. i have the fear of the pricking of needle!

and it was a stupid fear. it didnt hurt at all. it wasnt as painful as i thought it would. i feel like banging my head on the wall for the stupid concept and thought that ive made up since young and i have lost a generously lot of opportunities to donate blood, growing up. it is such a selfish thing. and i have the whole twilight-vampire struck thing going on in my mind again. Edward would have skipped it and fake a blood test.  

well. when i got to the auditorium just now, after screening for the available doctors on duty, i have actually picked up a few that i want. and there's this one doctor who doesnt deem 'professional' and efficient and effective, to me. let's called her Dr.U you know how ugly i am/human being is for the constant practice of making assumption of people, by judging just based on the humble appearance and modest look. slap. shame on me. She is the most skillful of all the doctors present! she managed to withdraw the students who had small, not obvious veins that a few doctors had failed to withdraw and last resort was to seek her help! i am amazed and ashamed at the same time.

mind over matters. i tried to fool myself, continuously chanting and mumbling that everything's gonna be okay, it is nt painful and yada yada yada. being the stupid and easily deceived me, i managed to flashed my smile and greeted a Good Afternoon when my number's summoned. and how irony it was to turn out to be Dr.U herself. i could still remembered how intense my heart was hammering OH NO! before i actually recognized her expertise.

things happen for a reason. in fact, for many reasons. She's actually nice and friendly. and she told me that i have such big, prominent vein that she suggested me to go for blood donation. i flashed my friendly, hypocrite smile again and said i would consider it. (if only you make it less painful, far different from my imagination) and it just took her less than a minute for the whole venipuncture procedure. i was watching the whole thing myself. seeing her pricked in the needle, seeing thick dark blood flowing, filling the syringe. it was not painful at all. it was far beyond my imagination. it feels great because i smiled and thanked her and vowed to sign up for blood donation when opportunities strike, next time. 

i was just thinking that if only i knew, i could have save lives earlier. it's never too late anyway. i am determined to fully utilized the gift that God has granted me. my anatomical structured vein that make me a good candidate for blood donation? why not.