Wednesday, October 12, 2011

under pressure

just when i thought everything has been running smooth and things has gone from okay to great, suddenly, i fall down on the track, feeling sorry for myself and disappointed again although i thought that i've turned numb and mute towards the outcome still, it evolves into an invisible stone that i found myself accidentally tripped on.

anyway. one good news today is that Mum is finally officially coming to town. however this is of a wrong timing. i want her here to listen to my whining but at the same time, i will feel sorry for not spending enough time with her here. anyway. her main purpose here is of course not because of me. i am just glad that she's coming over. i start to have bad feeling. OMG. the pressure is so high as if the world is going to collapse on me soon and the sky's falling down. Gasp. safe me. is this going to be the end of my suffering anyway? what a high price to pay for it. if i am destined to take a step backward, it would still be a blessing in some way. sometimes, i really dont understand what i have been fighting for. why oh why it does bear any promising outcomes.

so. God, besides thanking You and questioning You at the same time, i would love to thank blogspot too for letting me to spill my hidden feeling out, here. just noticed that i've been blogging for two days straight. i just have a lot of unanswered thoughts lately. and i am feeling pretty sad.

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