dearie God

Dear God,

i know that i didn't worship You in any significant way for a very long time and today, i sincerely, genuinely wish to Thank You for all the blessing and good returns that You have showered upon me and my family members. You know, i once saw that people said they often blame God for every misfortunes that fall upon them but never be thankful or appreciate for all the goods that they're indulging in but i am the total opposite.

i am really really thankful that Momma's sickness is healed and she need not to suffer anymore. of course i would have to thank the doctor for his genius diagnosis or else we'll never find a cure for it. anyway, the bad side of it is that it makes me feel even useless, helpless and hopeless than before. damn. i don't even know what i was doing all these years and semester. taking in everything and spilling out everything. what i like is that i was given the opportunity to meet and listen to the people around me and somehow i did get some encourage. i hope that i will turn better. medicine is about practicing and experiencing aint it? i might as well end up not practicing anyway.

God, please, i hope You can blessed all the people that i love and dear to me to get stronger, tougher and lavish their lives with happiness and blessing. God, You know what, although i am still exasperated thinking about those precious and valuable things that You've taken away from me, and till today, of course i am still blaming myself incessantly thinking about all the possible happier self i could be, i have actually learnt to cope with it and move on. i hope that You can make all my loved ones wiser and sensible after those turmoil that seem inevitable, just like how You make me a better man. and if you didn't make it happen, probably i wouldnt become who i am today!

there're a lot of things that i wish to hear it myself and acknowledge but know all i could do is blind guessing and holding on to the faith i have in You. Promise me that you will make everything better and when i look back, say 10 years time, i will eventually love You more than i already am. so much more to do as a mean to Thank Your Mightiness. =)

my definition of God is an omnipotent presence that you can't explain by plain words or evidence. it's felt by heart, touch the soul and heal the world. God has so much potent and plays variety of roles in my life. i find strength, hope and it's a place where i can reflect for all the wrongs i did. okay. this is my shout out to You, I LOVE YOU, unconditionally!