it will pass

the first line is sometimes the hardest just like how people said the first step is always the hardest to take. like now, i kept on erasing on how i would like to start this. sometimes when i look back my previous entries, i stumbled across issues that hid certain meaning. i try to make it subtle and when i look back, i cant even recall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFGyqHEkfN8

on this solitude and restless night, i am listening to lifehouse. things come and go, issues arise and to-be-solved, exam is just around the corner, to be endured. and i have forgotten when i start to give up on thriving for myself. anyway, i'm holding on to finish everything and enjoy my idle lifeless life at home.

these few days, i have learnt to not make quick judgement based on just a single piece of information and without any confrontation on the subject himself. just put yourself in the shoes and you wont really dig the feeling there too aint it. and i am forever sorry to have such misunderstanding and prejudice. for the same token, feeling helpless for not being able to lend a helping hand and a pair of listening ears or even sending away some encourage words. i wasnt even i the situation and i wouldnt even know what it feels like that way but life has to move on. it's okay to be upset and frustrated but don't let it to engulf most of the time and energy. we'll come across a lot of difficulties in life, no matter how bad things've gone, always bear in mind that there are still a lot of people who loves you unconditionally so dont let them worry about you especially the parents.

before i end this, would love to offer my apology again to those that i have offended or hurt whether it's unintentionally or intentionally. i did things for reasons and i know i could be mean sometimes and my words are sharp like a freshly sharpen knife but i don't like to explain myself much. it's funny how there are people who you intend to get closer but is deterred by a thick wall or a fear of rejection while there are some who try to come into your life but are not welcomed. i wish i could play some mind-controlling trick someday. i feel so bad about myself sometimes but i could not help it. friends for benefit eh. define friend. is there anything wrong with not agreeing with everything and have myself my little opinions? is there anything wrong with breaking promises or overriding words. time could change a lot of thing. you can be at one second like purple and the next like pink. Avril also sings everything's changing, when i turn around, all out of my control, i'm a mobile'. as much as i would like to explain myself, i am even trying hard to put my priority on top.