wish you were here

So now, i have illegally owned Goodbye Lullaby. What is there to be anticipated and look forward to? i love all the songs and each and every of them are so unique and have their own kicking rhythm and melody. i personally like Goodbye the most because it's also very personal and emotional for Avril to fully write and produce it on her own. And the story behind Goodbye is very touching and moving. yes. i Love you so. la la lullaby, help me sleep tonight.

it keeps me ponder if two love each other, why would they eventually go for break up. i mean, if two are in love with each other, aren't they supposed to make it last no matter what the obstacles and difficulties are. it is so absurd for me to understand people who have gone thru a relationship and later ends up breaking up and file for divorce though admitted that both still love each other and that they respectively occupy a special place in the heart. i just don't understand.

now. i don't know what am i looking forward to do anymore. waiting for the next plane home. then what. after all the holiday, i have to be here again with my stressful and unappealing life. lying on my bed and stop thinking but to dwell in the velvety and peaceful moments, alone. the decision to move on is a right one because it is the only one that seems rational and sensible. though, what's left of me is the exhaustion of courage and dignity that i have to put thru in order to survive. i don't want to let myself to be vulnerable, not when i am with people. so, i hold it on, brace it alone. and it's tough.