Goodbye Lullaby

it has been a long while since my last post. well, whenever i feel like blogging, i was always haunted by my past, my emotional, my useless self. i know that more or less the content is about how miserable and lifeless my life is and how i wish i could put things perfectly like i want to. most importantly, i wish that before i felt asleep every night, i could smile to myself, thinking that i have been having a great day and tomorrow will be a better one. instead, the opposite happens. although a great day could be perceived as i have been having good laughs with friends, i have been eating well, no accidents or hurt or injuries or sort, at the end of the day it always lead to the imminent longing for something magical.

what could have run in your mind as you live you day? the minutes, the hours, the day, the night. Family, Future, Friends and Self, perhaps. i really don't know what am i doing with my life since recently. Go for lectures, do a little studies, facebooking, have a good sleep and the next day begins. And one thing that keeps me alive and sensible is the thought that i would be home soon. that's when i wish time passes faster and it already is if you do not pay much attention to it. like today, in a swift, i am about to go to bed after an outing with friends, again for some post birthday celebration thingy and after a nice, contemplative movie, Sanctum. watching movies always make me ponder upon many things. yes. that something magical i wish i have.

life has been tough, seriously. i don't know about others but i am having a tough one. but a grateful and blessed one i would say as what Mum has been telling me all the time to keep me occupied from not diverge into something pessimist and unappealing. when i am smiling and laughing and seem to be happy, i know that the invisible mirror and my faithful shadow always reflect something beyond it, something opposite, something hidden beneath and it will never fade, for a very long time.

so, for the time being, i live for Goodbye Lullaby and for the next journey home. i havent talk to Mummy and Papa for a couple of days cause i don't know, it just feels sad that i can't bear to listen to their voice and how i wish i can hear it not because of the transmission of sound wave or wavelength thru the phone but i hear them within distance. they should be tangible. i miss them. i miss every piece of me before. i miss. i miss my life. and yes. goodbye to the past. my present is my lullaby. the future will bring something magical, hopefully.