what's His planning for me?

Muahaha. Today, i really screamed INSIDE my heart when i heard the hello from HIM. It's still echoing in my mind, "Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, Hi. i'm someone who's not going to greet the other one unless that other one starts to greet me first though under certain circumstances like ... well, couldn't think of any now, i would start the greeting, but normally i would reply with a smile or a 'hi' or 'hello' when the other one/the people i know do the greeting first. So, i think that in this sense, i was labelled arrogant among my acquaintances.
The other day, i remembered that i wasn't screaming as what i've always wanted to do, for the sake of fun. Maybe my mind was too blank that time and could think of my next move. i blamed myself then, i kind of get over it because i'm confirmed that there'll be a next time. Apparently, the next time, is today.
The 3 seconds were so odd though. There was like people watching and then i just ducked down my head, looking at the floor, like always and then walked away. Shit. i hope i wasn't blushing. Even if i did flush red, it isn't supposed to be very obvious due to my dark complexion. It was really weird and embarrassing. Reminiscing the moment just now was sweet but sour in the sense that ... ... it's just way too weird.

Tomorrow is my brother's birthday. i was so astounded of how much my brother had changed. it wasn't as if i didn't even recognized him anymore but i think i jut don't know him. Luckily, his unique and beautiful voice is permanent. it ain't going to change and it would stay that way, and it should, and that'll be the one and only untouchable stimulus for me to recognize him.
i've been so happy these few days thinking about my brother because he'd gone so much more GOOD-LOOKING over the years!!! Look, he's always the most handsome and beautiful in my heart but then his transformation enhanced that conception more. i think girls would have drool over him and i save his handsome picture in my mobile. i hope he wasn't irritated should he discover i put up his picture in my spaces here.
Wow. It really hit me. I haven't see him for such a LOOOOONNNNG time. i long to see him for real yet i'm not sure when are we going to meet again. God's like playing a game with us or solely me, who's desperate to see my brother, who's a complete stranger to me as i grow up and still is. When i was home, he wasn't in. And when i left, he was home. And then he departed and then i went back. Clash. Crash. Crap. He isn't going back for Raya holidays either, that means, i have to wait for another century again.

So, i do miss my brother, occasionally. And still couldn't forgive myself after all these years and always place myself in agony thinking about what could have happened if IT didn't happen the way it happen instead it happened the other way round. TT
What's in God's plan?