i have been happy

Ever since i got back, i have been really happy. First off, it's a real coincidence to have everyone home, Pup, Mummy, Koko, Me and Huidi. it is a complete occupancy of this lot. and i would say that Mum is probably the most happiest and grateful person around to have everyone here. we actually bring the home to alive again and the whole atmosphere is just so exuberant and overwhelming with each passing day. and the saddest part would be my brother and i would be leaving almost at the same time and that would leave this home to a little tinge of emptiness. i am about to succumb to a missing piece of a beautiful portray of jigsaw puzzle. Sigh.

i have been happy these days, seriously. mostly, i think that my relationship with my brother has improved. There is surely some invisible truth lies beneath the adverb Absence makes the heart grows fonder. Yay! i am happy.

So, besides that, there are seriously still many reason for me to feel happy despite all the unhappiness. what matter most is only of my point of view, of how i take in everything and start to evaluate it from the right perfect angle. only then, i could convert all my distress and dissatisfaction or whatever else there are into the opposite, joyful and bless events. i just have to bear in mind that nobody's perfect, i have what people don't and people don't have what i own. my privilege. every human being's privilege. should i really get jealous of everything? should i ache my mind thinking of how unfair life is? should i make uncountable comparison? should i even care what people think of me? oh, and why the hell again is that i always like to judge people, disapprove of people vain, fatuous actions? not that i could really control myself but i just don't understand. so, every time, i just resort to an approving fake hypocritically horrid smile. :) then, there are all those whatever whore, whatever jerk, as long you are happy and that we are still friends and then we are still good together come flooding my head. i seriously do not approve of the wannabe, vacuous vanity of some of the not-up-to-be-vain-able people. they just sort of lost their identity and their dignity, to me. and hell yeah, i am sure that i would not become one of that although it's like an epidemic in recent society. it is just not me. if ever i am to get infected, well, i have to declare beforehand that i am a dead person. So, why should i really care? why should i bother my mind? it just signifies that i am just so jealous. seriously hating the word. duh. okay. this is the last piece of advice from me to me, i am just happy with my life, i am grateful for everything, that have happened, about to happen and happening. so what if they are to live to that plateau of (my own version) imperceptible conceit? okay. the more i write, i feel like i am the one having a tendency towards it.

Right. i am happy. i am me, you are you, he is he, she is she and we are all having our individually. i have my own identity, personality. i just hope that nobody, include me myself, would ever alter any part of me, changing me into just one of the heavily sick patients who probably never ever recover because it is like a powerful sickness that there's no any secret remedy or anything that's going to cure it. oh yeah. it's like a malignant tumour. it would just keep on developing.