The Ugly Truth

it has been a while i didn't update my blog. well. too much of studies which i still doubt that i know a thing from it because basically i just read through and forget everything. that's my main problem of my learning/studying outcome and not forget to mention my addiction to facebook.

the other day, i was at the train station, waiting for the next 10 minutes about to arrive train to come and get me home, to my aunt's house where i can escape from everything that's so darn distracting in college. well. i was waiting, patiently with my heavy bag with all the books and clothes and notes and Mac in it. then, the train came.

OMG. the people were crazy! the crowd was crazy! they gone cuckoo and everyone just emerged from no where and cut the line, squeezing in between the people, young, olds, ladies, men, and they just dont care about everyone else as long as they got to make it into the coach with just one single door open though there're up to 3/4 coaches. the sight before me totally left me dumbfounded. the people here are so damn ugly. they could have dress well, they could have wear one nice expensive suits, they could have looked gentlemen, they could have looked elegant and beautiful but when it comes to this desperation, oh hey, let's forget all the manners and courtesy. What the hell is wrong with the world?

i was in the middle of this crowd, looking like a nerd with my Physiology reference book in my hand and just watched these people pushing against each other, yelling around, not giving a chance, no tolerance at all. and there was this guard, yelling at the frenzy crowd and i looked at her thinking 'duh....as if they are going to listen'. So, i give up. i spent the next half an hour waiting for the next train.

this was among the very early lessons i learnt about life. that sometimes, it's not easy to be a Good Samaritan. That sometimes, i have to fight for myself. i have to be mean to others and myself if i want something so much. Chances do not come too often in my life and when it slips, all i get is misery and remorse. The world could be ugly but i have to be beautiful to make it less ugly. i wonder how many beautiful people are left in this world? Someone like Barry (in Dinner for Schmucks). Gee. the incident totally make my mind blowing. it's still vivid in my mind. and the next train, i was push inside the specifically provided ladies coach by those behind. i was so afraid of the people in front that i barely touch them. there's the gap there and people should really beware of it. When are they going to learn to behave? just queue up people. you got nothing to lose. first come first serve. fair enough? yes. The world is never a fair place. but i choose to see things using different angles and perspective because that's how we live life to the fullest. you might lost something but you would gain some other things in return. God is always fair.

and yeah. so i missed the train out of my dumbness for trying to be good, polite, follow the rules and all. it's a life lesson. Got to fight for myself but still maintain my decency. The olds, the sick one, the unfortunates. duh. i have a lot to think, about people, about life, about the ugly world!

and i went for the much needed haircut. i feel so great about life. it's like it gives a new lease of life to me and i am full with driving force. it's so light. so carefree and i can jump and run freely without the messy hair. no. it's still messy. messy is just so me. anyway, i just love the new me.