Quote Nicholas Sparks, "i often wish i could go back t a simpler time, when i wasn't so nostalgic".
is it even possible to sympathize my own self? surrounded by friends day and night, why do i still feel alone like a stranger, outcast? i alienated myself because apparently, solitude moments make me more comfortable at times but i do admit that i really have a lot of fun laughing together with them chatting nonsense and so forth.
i just feel really empty and lonely. a need to talk to someone to calm myself and to release stress. i started to realize that talking to Mum is not such a good idea because it's the kind of thing that will make her worry and grow more silver hair and traceable wrinkles. hence, here i am after ages of not signing in here as if i have desolated my pseudo-remedy here. no. it's just that life has been the same and of too much melancholically bitter and of course there are memorable, happy moments to but i don't feel like penning it down here due to my laziness.
i think this is just an escapism for me to get back to the real deal. it is just an excuse. the beauty of the photos is by capturing the moment when u 'snap' it, freezing the time, picturing the view before you and most importantly it tells the world that you've been there, you've done that and you exist. in addition, it brings you back to the past and you could play the story in your mind. it tells a thousand stories!
dear mummy, papa and huidee, i miss you guys so damn much. on the way to the airport a couple of days ago, i thought it as one of the saddest moment in my life. never had i ever feel so sad before. we hadn't even reach airport yet but i can feel that my tears were boiling inside and i was battling hard to make it evaporate instead of streaming down thru the corners. i just feel really sorry for myself that i have to go back to an ugly place and a life that i like and detest at the same time. and i met a stranger. and he was real. he could have been my savior as he thought me a lot of things and life lessons on the one hour journey back to KL boarding Aerobus. i lost his contact afterwards and i blamed no one but myself. it happened for a reason. i googled him afterwards and i find him real, exist! Thank God for that but how do i get in touch again? is it going to be odd and insane to call the office? duh.
quote stranger, "at this stage, for you, money could not be everything for you but bear in mind that money can do a lot of things". it keeps on ringing inside me. money can do a lot of things. so true. well, stranger, you haven't heard the full story yet and you don't know me yet. you know, i really appreciate and thankful for your blessings and words but you'll never know what the future will bring.
p/s i'll go back to Eid holidays all the time. never mind playing it in repeat.
